Down and Dirty and Done: Brian Mills’ Final Scene at TitanMen

What an honor. Brian Mills, who’s been making films at Titan since the very beginning, directed his final scene last May before retiring… and I got to be in it. As I learned later, he had hand-picked a bunch of his favorite performers for his final run: Hunter Marx, Jessy Ares, David Anthony, Race Cooper, Kyle Quinn, Jessie Colter… and for his very last scene, Adam Russo… and ME. Wow.

The film, Down and Dirty, came out a couple of weeks ago, and to celebrate its release, Titan director Jasun Mark just posted this awesome behind-the-scenes footage from when we wrapped. (And yup, that’s me running in to give Brian a big congratulatory hug… I’m still covered in sweat from filming, hence Brian’s shocked reaction!)

Brian directed three of my scenes (in Command Performance and Fast Friends, in addition to the aforementioned Down and Dirty) and was also responsible for taking the amazing promotional photos that accompanied each release. From the very beginning, despite my doubts, he kept encouraging me that I could not just do this, but do it well… even if I wasn’t entirely convinced of that myself. I remember one moment early on when I was still really nervous and having a bit of, um, “performance anxiety”… but Brian took me aside and quietly uttered these words of encouragement that I’ll never forget: “Relax,” he said. “I’m gonna make you a better performer.” And he did.

So Brian… thank you. Thanks for believing in me. Thanks for your encouragement. And thanks for helping make this the experience of a lifetime. (By the way, I’ve got a funny feeling that Brian may be back to “guest-direct” a film or two down the road. If he does… well… I’d love to work with him again.)

(Almost) Live from the Set: Dirk Caber and Will Swagger get pumped

I’m a couple of days late with this… sorry! Dirk Caber and Will Swagger filmed a fetish scene upstairs at Mr. S Leather on Friday, and I’ve got a couple of pics to share. I’ve never used one of these… but maybe I should buy one and try it out. 😉

The Wrong Idea

Dirk’s third COLT film, ARMOUR, came out yesterday; he’s got two scenes in it, one with Bob Hager and another with Jessy Ares. I excitedly announced the film’s release on Facebook and posted the above official COLT promo photo… one of the only Facebook-safe pictures COLT provided! (I’ve posted the racier pics below.)

The next day I logged into Facebook to find a couple of rather unexpected comments on the photo:

Isaac Neil Adam:  urmm… he is soooo hot and gorgeous!!! woww!!! but i wonder if by any chance you doesnt feel jealous of your BF being ‘used’ by someone? just want to ask. because i cant stand if my love one is fucking or fucked by another guys. it hurts me alot and cause intense pain. my heart surely bleeding…

Craig McIntyre:  Isaac it’s just a job. No heart involved just pure sex without emotion.

Let me just say, for the record, it’s not like that, at least not for Dirk and me. I can tell you from my own personal experience that there’s plenty of emotion on a porn set. There’s lust for my fellow performers, passion for doing a good job, and the pure visceral joy and pleasure of fucking or being fucked. In addition, I’ve always felt genuine affection for each of my scene partners; Titan has sent a parade of classy, friendly, easy-going, smart, HOT men my way, so how could I not? And that emotional connection pours into the scene. Completely mechanical sex would be boring! And would make for pretty terrible porn, in my opinion. We’re human beings, not fuck machines. I’ve always had chemistry with my scene partners… and it’s that chemistry that drives the scene.

As to Isaac’s question: I love Dirk, and he has a special place in my heart, as do I in his. That said, both of us feel an intense desire to really connect with people we care about; that desire isn’t limited to just each other, and sometimes that connection includes a sexual component. We each have certain friends — close friends — with whom sex is a natural part of our friendship; it’s part of our bond. Dirk has friends whom he sleeps with on occasion, and I have some as well. I respect the friendships that Dirk has made, as he respects mine… but at no point have I ever felt “shut out” from them. Dirk and I have only one rule in our relationship: “Never bring home anything you don’t want to share.” It works on all sorts of levels, but in this context it allows a sexual openness that is both liberating and exhilarating. As long as I feel included, I’m not jealous at all.

Similarly, when he’s working on set, I feel in no way threatened. Porn sex may not be romantic love, but I know that Dirk enjoys making and exploring the sexual connection he has with his co-stars (just like I enjoy the connections I make with mine). In fact, I encourage those sorts of connections, as does he with me. Maybe he’ll learn some new techniques. Maybe he’ll make a new friend. Maybe he’ll bring that friend home so we can all explore those new techniques together. (It’s happened!) But most importantly, as long as he’s happy and I get to share in that happiness, I’m happy too… and that’s good enough for me.

And now for those COLT photos I promised. Make sure you check out ARMOUR, and all of Dirk’s other COLT and Titan films… and if you really want to see a lot of emotion in a porn film, check out the Titan films that Dirk and I shot together, LOUD AND NASTY and EXTRA FIRM!


Live from the Set: Dirk Caber and Hunter Marx get ROUGH at Mr. S Leather!

My sexy hubby is out in SF filming with Titan this week… and his scene partner is none other than TitanMen exclusive Hunter Marx! (Hunter is a good buddy of ours; he and his partner Ethan Anders went on a raucous ski trip with us last year.) Dirk and Hunter are filming a scene for Titan’s Rough series right now in the play space above the showroom at Mr. S Leather, and from the look of things, it seems like they’re having a great time. With a room full of awesome toys, how could they not? I wish I could join in, but I’m stuck in frigid Boston… it got down to 2° F this morning. I thought my nipples were gonna freeze off! But I digress….

Here are a few “Live from the Set” pics that Titan sent me. Enjoy! By the way, the apparatus that Dirk’s getting fucked in is called a Pig Roaster, and they’re lots of fun! You can learn all about them — and see pics of Dirk pounding away at one really lucky guy in one — right here.

Q&A: “What’s your favorite smell, and why?”

Dirk eats an heirloom tomato, juice running down his chin…

A little while ago I reached out to my Facebook followers to see if anybody wanted to know anything about me or about the industry, and the response was overwhelming! I got over 50 great questions on topics ranging from my carnivorous preferences (“Chicken or beef?”) to my thoughts on the philosophy of Soren Kierkegaard. Some of the questions were so interesting that Dirk and I have decided to both weigh in; over the coming weeks we’ll be posting responses to each of our blogs in a new “Q&A” series. This is gonna be fun!

Let’s start with Gil Bear’s intriguing question: “What’s your favorite smell, and why?”

JESSE: This is going to sound cliché, but my favorite smell is Dirk. I’m usually indifferent to body odor, but for some reason the smell of Dirk makes my heart flutter. Other than that, I’ve always had an affinity for the smell of unburnt tobacco… like if you unroll a cigarette and just smell the leaves, which I find really strange because I hate the smell of a lit cigarette. I also love the smell of fresh mint and, perhaps relatedly, Bengay (it’s a locker room fantasy thing for me).

While I’m on the topic of odors, the scent I find most foul is durian, that fruit that smells like rotting flesh. I’ve never tasted it, because I can’t get past the stench. Dirk’s had it, though, and says once you get it into your mouth it actually tastes pretty good. And my mom, who used to have no sense of smell, tried it once and said it tasted like cheese. (A series of steroid treatments have since cleared up her olfactory issue; I’ll have to remember to ask her what she thinks of durian now.)

DIRK: Tea tree oil, fresh tomatoes, half-baked lasagna, ocean air. It’s all association. Fresh tomatoes because I associate it with my grandmom’s house in summer. She always grew heirloom tomatoes, which were the best ever. I used to eat them like apples, with the juice running down my chin. And tea tree oil because I think the stuff is miraculous. Ocean air is the smell of where I lived the first twelve years of my life. And the lasagna was my grandmom’s cooking, although my mom’s is just as good.

Oh, and I like the smell of a good, healthy, clean male body. I’d fall asleep in my boyfriend’s armpit any day.

We’ll be posting more answers to your excellent questions in the very near future!