I need your vote… plus 20 new action pics of me and Rogan Richards!

Dick Danger, my latest TitanMen film, is nominated for a fan Grabby! The Grabby Awards, held each Memorial Day in Chicago, is one of the premier award ceremonies for the gay adult film industry, and you can help me and Titan take home some hardware! The winner of the Steamworks Fan Favorite Award is selected by you, the fans. Voting ends on May 1, so if you have just a couple of moments and could please vote for Dick Danger (no registration required), that would be awesome! Thank you so much!

To thank you for your time and for your vote, here are 20 all-new action pics from my scene with Rogan Richards… hope you like ’em, and thanks again! (By the way, Dick Danger is now available via on-demand and on DVD.)

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The other “F” word

Big Faggy Bear Bust FB Banner

First, the fun stuff… Dirk and I will be returning to Hamburger Mary’s Kansas City this Saturday, May 3 for Bear Bust! We were there last year for “Kinko de Mayo” and we had such a great time. We’re really excited to go back!

This time, the theme is “Big Faggy Bear Bust.” Inspired by the wildly successful “Big Faggy Meat Rack” that the LA Eagle hosts every year during Pride, the event will in many ways be the opposite of the usual monthly fur-and-testosterone party that Mary’s puts on. Fairies! Rainbows! Glitter! And, oh yeah, plenty of testosterone and fur and too, although the fur just might have some gold highlights. I really love the inherent contradiction — butch-it-up vs. big and faggy — and I already have a few different ideas for ways to really play up the contrast.

When I first posted about the event on my Facebook page last week, I noticed a bit of criticism concerning the name of the event (though, interestingly, not the over-the-top nature of the event itself). One of my biggest fans, who happens to be a mom, summed up the concern rather elegantly:

The only thing that I’m not comfortable with is the use of the word “faggy.” I took great lengths in teaching my son not to use this word, because I find it offensive for gay people. Am I to understand it’s OK to use it? And even if it is, I don’t feel comfortable using it. Please enlighten me!

I replied that I don’t love the term either, and use it sparingly, but I don’t have a problem with it when it’s used in the proper context. Many people believe that adopting a derogatory term to refer to themselves is the best way to “disempower” the word. It’s not a 100% accurate comparison, but I can see parallels between the gay community’s use of “faggot” (a word with a fascinating linguistic history which, by the way, has nothing to do with immolation) and the appropriation of the “N” word by the African-American community. And while I personally don’t use the words “fag” and “faggot” very often, I understand and appreciate why other gay men do. My hubby Dirk agrees, and while while we certainly don’t speak for all gay men, I like to think that our view is somewhat representative. Here’s what he has to say on the matter:

openquoteThis is classic appropriation of a pejorative term by the thusly slurred populace and turning it inside out. A gay person referring to me as ‘fag’ or ‘queer’ probably wouldn’t endear me myself to them, but I know there are times we use it as an empowering tool. Conversely, if a straight person used either, especially in particular tones of voices or contexts, I’d be likely to apply his teeth to the nearest bit of masonry available. African-American folk have every right to use the ‘N’ word among themselves; there’s nothing demeaning about it when they use it. However, it’s entirely inappropriate and asking for an ass whupping for me to use it, in pretty much any context. The promoters of the Hamburger Mary’s event are gay men. The event is for gay men. We are appearing as the gay men we are. ‘Fag’ in this context offends nobody, especially those of us who might in fact be the ones offended.”

That said, given the confusion that came about as a result of my Facebook post and not wanting to alienate any of my fans, I reached out to the owners of Hamburger Mary’s to discuss the use of the term for the event. Here was their amazing reply:

openquoteOK, so we ran the artwork and idea by the leaders of the KC Bear Mafia, and a few others whom we trust to give wise counsel. They seem to be in 100% agreement that the theme is great and that there is nothing that we should worry about. Their opinion is that it is true that there will be some who are upset that we used the word ‘fag’ in the title. They also echoed what Dirk said. Much like black Americans can use the ‘N’ word with impunity amongst themselves, those outside the demographic are not welcomed to use that word as it is considered insulting. In the same way, the word ‘fag’ is used amongst gays all the time when talking about each other. I hear it tossed around all the time. I’m sure you guys do too. So, not only did they love the theme, they loved the fact that in using the word so publicly and with such obvious parody we actually rob the word of power. Furthermore, they felt like, as I wrote in the event copy, that making our event a tribute to the annual Big Faggy Meat Rack event at LA Eagle further binds us together as a community trying to rob the word ‘fag’ of any power it might wield over us.

Jesse, you have over 200,000 followers on Facebook. That in and of itself is incredible. But there is simply no way you will ever be able to please all of them. No matter what you do there will always be some who will disagree and take a contrary position. It’s just that in this case it involves a word that, for many, is controversial. So of course you are going to hear from those who are highly offended by the use of the word. However, I’ve discovered that in most cases like this, where people try to make a huge deal out of something, the issue is more about them and their trying to get on their own soapbox and get some attention than it is the other person.

It just comes down to YOU in this case, Jesse. If you don’t have a problem with it, then those nay-sayers who want to turn it into a big deal just need to shut the fuck up. You really don’t even have a responsibility to answer them, or to even leave their comments on your page if you don’t want to. You have over 200,000 fan likes. So you lose a few who want to get their pink panties into a wad? Really, who cares if you don’t care? It’s their issue, not yours. No, you don’t want to offend anyone. But that’s really an wholly impossible task. And if those who see the artwork can’t understand that it is satirical and a parody against the word fag, then those people are not the people one should base a decision on, in my opinion.

And finally, if you feel like we need to change the title of the event or else you won’t be able to come and participate, then please let us know very SOON. I already included the artwork in one publication that went to press today. I can’t change that, but I can change the name on any further ads and in the Facebook event before I post it. I hope that won’t be the case, because everyone I’ve run the artwork by and the title by seems to love it. They are already making big plans for ‘fagging it up’ and are really looking forward to it. So I’d hate to change the name because of a few people want to be negative about it. But if you ask me to, I will.

Let me know what you think.”

I think those guys are amazing, and have earned my total respect. I confess that sometimes I do try to please everybody… sometimes creating a lot of angst for myself in the process. But I think the best approach in a situation like this is to trust my gut and my beliefs. And my beliefs tell me that, in this context, the “other” F-word is being used in a light-hearted, playful, non-pejorative, and indeed empowering way. So come on out and meet us at Hamburger Mary’s this Saturday, May 3rd, because in solidarity with the owners of Hamburger Mary’s, the KC Bear Mafia, and the wonderful people of Kansas City, Dirk and I are totally gonna let our fag flags fly.

Now… does anyone know where I can buy some glitter and a pair of gold lamé tights?
Shoe Shopping in the West Village

Love Shack   Big Faggy Bear Bust Poster

Butt Pirates

Titan DVDs

An interesting question popped up on my Facebook page today regarding the proliferation of both amateur porn sites and pirated adult films. I’ve been mulling over a blog post about this for a while, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to actually sit down and write one. The question, posed by one Christopher M., reads as follows:

openquoteRecently I had a very colorful encounter with a porn star (I ain’t naming names) but he had brought up the problem with free sites, saying that they are evil and he will be ready to to sue at any moment. My question to you: Do you think that those free porn sites are a legitimate threat to your livelihood, or is it not really that bad?

It’s an excellent question. I wouldn’t say it’s a threat to my livelihood, per se. Porn is more of a “side job” for me; I already have a great career in IT at a very supportive company (and yes, they know all about the porn). But I’d say the studios are definitely feeling an effect.

Don't let these become a thing of the past!

Don’t let these become a thing of the past!

There are two factors at play here. The first comes from the proliferation of amateur sites like XTube. I think that sites with self-shared amateur content do take some of the audience away from the more polished product that the studios produce. And sure, I like watching amateur porn once in a while. But I believe that there’s still — and always will be — a market for adult films of a higher production caliber, so in that sense the studios will always have a place in this industry.

A greater threat comes from sites that proliferate pirated content. Obviously, the studios are in the business of selling their films. Take away that revenue stream and the studios suffer, or even shutter their doors. That presents a dilemma for the people who download pirated films. It’s pretty clear from a litigious perspective that the distribution of those films is illegal, and it’s possible that obtaining such illegally-distributed material is illegal as well (see the Wikipedia article on the legal aspects of file sharing for an overview). Beyond that, people who download movies instead of paying for them — and these are presumably people who like more polished content, or else they wouldn’t be downloading it — are depriving the studios of the income they need to stay afloat. So while those people might be getting their “quick fix” of good porn for free, they’re damaging the source of that porn by doing so. In time, there could be no more high-quality porn to download. So the dilemma is this: Support the studios (which isn’t too much of a burden… heck, at jointitan.com you can join for as little as 27 cents a day) and keep the high-quality porn coming for a long time, or get it for free now and not be able to get it at all down the road. It’s up to you, of course… but to me, the former sounds preferable to the latter.

“HeadBlade Tested, Jackman Approved”

Almost a year ago — has it been that long already? — I wrote a blog post called “A Hair-Razing Experience” in which talked a little about the first time I shaved my head with a razor (the day I turned 30). I also shared a video that Titan director Jasun Mark filmed of me shaving my head in the shower. A little while later, I received an email from the fine folks at HeadBlade, manufacturer of some pretty unique shaving products:

openquoteJesse – we’d love to send you one of our new ATX razors… we think you’ll love it! The new design is super easy to use and we have new 4 & 6 blade refills very similar to those Fusion blades you’re using. Let us know man!

Never one to pass up free stuff, I happily agreed… and a couple of weeks later I was the proud owner of a new HeadBlade ATX All-Terrain Razor. I’ve been using it ever since. It’s really cool, actually… you slip it over your middle finger and then slide it backwards over your head, like this:

The HeadBlade guys didn’t ask me for anything in return, but I figured that the least I could do to thank them was to film my ATX in action and post it to the blog… so I grabbed Cameraman Dirk, jumped in the shower, and shot the short video above. Hope you like the result… and thanks again to the fine folks at HeadBlade for hooking me up!

He’s a stepfather with a secret. But who wants to watch?

Dirk Caber in Stepfather's Secret

Pornography gives us a safe way to explore certain subjects that would otherwise be considered taboo. Movies like Joe Gage’s Chainsaw and Arcade on Route 9, for example, present sex-positive, educational relationships between fathers and their of-age sons. Dirk’s latest film from Men.com is no different, so it came as a bit of a surprise to me that its release has sparked so much controversy.

Stepfather’s Secret, which also stars Johnny Rapid, Trevor Spade, and Scott Harbor as Dirk’s three “stepsons”, is not what you might expect. On hearing the title, and seeing Dirk’s sinister expression on the movie’s title card, one might leap to the conclusion that the film depicts rape, incest, or some form of sexual abuse. This is not the case. The four scenes certainly play off the fantasy that many of us once had as adolescents — myself included — about the sexy, masculine older authority figure, be it a stepfather or a gym teacher or a best friend’s dad. However, it explores that fantasy in a respectful way by playing it out consensually between four of-age adults. The three younger actors are all over 18 (google “2257” if you’re interested in the legislation that governs legal age in porn), and the very first scene makes it clear that their on-screen characters are at least 18 as well. No one is being taken advantage of, and no one is being exploited; Dirk’s character is acting as a sexual guide and mentor for his three stepsons. He’s clearly depicted as a caring stepfather, not a predatory one. (And the titular “secret,” by the way, refers to the fact that Dirk’s character has not yet come out as bisexual to his new wife, not to something more nefarious.)

The reaction to Stepfather’s Secret has mostly been positive, with reviews like “All kinds of hot!” and “I can’t get enough of Dirk… OH DADDY!” and “Who wouldn’t love a hot stepfather like this?” A few of you, however, didn’t like the concept of the film… and that’s fine. To be honest, before I watched it, I wasn’t 100% comfortable with it either. And Dirk was of a similar mind when he first heard the premise. Here’s what he wrote about the scene on his Facebook page last week:

openquoteI had reservations about the subject too. The promotional materials can only make the stepdad figure out to be a predator; there isn’t space or place in this sort of photo for subtlety. And in this day and age where we presume any older man/younger man relationship must be predatory; really, what else can this be? However, we go to some great lengths (at least, we did in filming) to establish that 1. the stepsons are of legal age, 2. they’re unrelated to each other, 3. they’re all adopted by the stepdad’s wife and not by the stepdad, and 4. the stepsons all exhibit their own curiosity towards this and are not being coerced or forced. The fantasy is still one which a lot of guys respond to, and is still one which gets a lot of other guys’ ire up. I just want to point out that we were quite careful to make sure the fantasy portrayed here really tried to actually respect these lines of social respectability.

I know some guys who were molested by older adults — they in particular of course I can understand being leery of this subject. I find there’s two sides to nearly any taboo, though: those who are reasonably horrified, and those who find it hot. If porn were compelled to please both camps… well, we wouldn’t have gay porn anymore, would we?”

We’re all adults here (including each of Dirk’s co-stars), and while the content may make some people uncomfortable, it’s up to each and every one of us make up our minds whether or not to watch the film. I’m really proud of everything that my hubby does, and Stepfather’s Secret is no exception. My hubby turns in a top-notch performance as usual, the film looks excellent from a purely visual point of view, and the Men.com folks have told us that the scenes are proving to be very popular. You may or not may agree with the subject matter, but you deserve nothing less than the freedom to choose what you want to watch.

By the way, I think the most amazing thing about this film is that it was shot in just five days. Each of the “stepsons” shot two scenes apiece, but Dirk shot four. Four, in five days! I can tell you with experience that shooting one scene is hard enough! Five in four is a nearly superhuman feat. Hopefully the people who choose to watch Stepfather’s Secret will be happy with my hubby’s efforts, because it takes one hell of a guy to be able to pull that off.