“Back” in the Kitchen (or, “Bake to the Future”)… Recipe Included!

Now here’s a blog post I never thought I’d write.

I’m really not very good at baking. I used to do it more often — and when I did it, even though I fucked up a lot, I was rather proud of my occasional successes — and now after an extended break I’m just starting to pick it up again. And besides, few things in life give me quite the same satisfaction as somehow managing to whip up something without accidentally blowing up my kitchen.

So last week, when I was bored and hungry, I decided to see what I could bake from the limited ingredients that Dirk and I had on hand in our kitchen. We usually eat scrambled eggs and grilled chicken, and certainly don’t bake very often, so our pantry is pretty limited… but I found a recipe for blueberry quickbread online and decided to give it a go. And — if I do say so myself — it was actually pretty good, as evidenced by the fact that Dirk and I basically devoured the entire loaf in less than 30 minutes.

Here’s the recipe if you’re interested (courtesy of AllRecipes.com, with a couple of modifications by yours truly):

  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup white sugar (can substitute a few packets of Splenda for some of the sugar to trim a few calories)
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cups milk (I used almond milk)
  • 1/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen (or mix of blueberries and raspberries)
  • Splash of lemon juice
  • Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Mix the flour, sugar[/Splenda], baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Stir the milk, oil, egg, vanilla extract, and lemon juice into the flour mixture until the batter is just blended. Gently fold the berries into the batter (not too much or the bread will turn blue!)- and pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake for about 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

    The quickbread only takes about 10 minutes to prepare and an hour to bake — the hour gives Dirk and me a chance to proactively work off some calories, link NSFW — but try to let it cool for at least half an hour before you try to remove it from the pan… if you have the willpower.

    If you do try out the recipe, please let me know how it goes in the comments below. I must say it’s been fun getting back in the kitchen… I think I’ll start doing it some more!

    Pics and video from an amazing Pride weekend at FLEX Spas Phoenix!
    Plus… bloopers!

    Last weekend, Dirk and I flew down to Phoenix, Arizona for a Saturday night appearance at the amazing FLEX Spas Phoenix! It also happened to be Phoenix Pride weekend, which made our visit extra special because we got to be on the FLEX float in the Pride parade! Our nighttime appearance was a lot of fun, too… the spa set up both a bed and a sling for us, and we put on a 45 minute live sex show for a packed house.

    We shot a few videos while we were there, too. Here’s the official promo we filmed with Vision Video Productions to promote our appearance…

    … and, as promised, the blooper reel from that video!

    We also did a photo shoot with Vision Video… here’s a sampling of the results:

    And finally, here are a few pics we shot at FLEX and at the Pride festival, as well as a Facebook Live stream we shot from the parade float. Thank so much to everyone who came out to see us, and to FLEX and Vision Video for being such great hosts… Dirk and I can’t wait to be back!!

    A new law just killed Craigslist Personals. What’s next to go?

    Amidst all the insanity going on in Washington these days, here’s something you may have missed. Last week, the U.S. Senate overwhelmingly passed a bill called FOSTA/SESTA, the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act/Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act. In basic terms, it makes it a criminal offense for any website to host any content related to sex work. The bill was intended to prevent online sex trafficking, but as any sex worker will tell you, the move will simply push legal sex work underground. Moreover, sex workers and trafficking victims alike will be forced into more dangerous circumstances. As one sex worker friend of mine put it: “People will die.”

    Forced with the prospect of criminal liability, some sites have already started removing large swaths of content that could potentially host sex work-related content. The first casualty of this bill is the Craigslist personals section — including the infamous “Missed Connections” category — replaced by a message explaining FOSTA’s role in the shutdown and wishing “every happiness” to the “millions of spouses, couples, and partners” who met through the service.

    Other sites are reacting to the new legislation as well. Reddit has banned its “Escorts” and “Sugar Daddy” sections in response to FOSTA. The website VerifyHIM has shut down its community section, a valuable resource where escorts would identify and warn other sex workers about violent or troublesome clients. And finally, sex workers are reporting that Google has started enforcing a years-old policy by deleting adult content without warning from the cloud storage service Google Drive, including legal copyrighted material rightfully owned by account-holders.

    Advocacy groups like the Free Speech Coalition have pledged to take action, but as President Trump is poised to sign the bill into law, the full effects of the legislation are yet to be seen. More broadly, the question should be asked: “Is this censorship?” When providers are forced to take entire sections of websites offline in order to protect themselves — a move that results in the restriction of legal speech — it sure seems that way.

    I need your vote for the 2018 Grabby Awards!

    :  Please vote for me for “Hottest Body” at the 2018 Grabby Awards! Here’s the voting form (alternate link here):

    The 2018 Grabby Award nominations are out, and I’m honored and humbled to be nominated for FOUR awards:

    • Performer of the Year
    • Best Versatile Performer
    • Hottest Rimming* (with Steve Roman in “Muscle Daddies”)
    • Hottest Body

    And my hubby Dirk has also been nominated for Best Flip Scene in “Cum Laude” with Jackson Grant!

    This year’s Grabby Awards is a bit different, in that YOU get to vote in the “Hottest Body” category! The competition is fierce, but I would really appreciate your vote, which you can cast at the top of this page. I’m one of the oldest guys on the list — I’ll be nearly 45 by late May, when the Grabbys are held — and wouldn’t it be cool if this “old dude” were to win? Anyway, I’ll leave it up to you guys… there’s plenty of amazing looking guys on the list, especially my good friends Jason Vario and Liam Knox… but if you wanna vote for me that would be awesome!

    The Grabby Awards are being held on May 26 in Chicago. The show is open to the public; you can buy tickets here.

    * For those of you who aren’t familiar with rimming (also known as “anilingus”), here’s the Wikipedia article on the subject. I hear the Grabby award comes with a toothbrush and a bottle of mouthwash.

    The president, the porn star, and why that matters


    There’s something particularly captivating about news stories involving porn stars. Sadly, many people regard adult film professionals with scorn, dismissing them as stupid at best and degenerate at worst. So when a major story about a porn star breaks, those same people tune in, eager to scoff at the amusing notion of a porn star actually being “relevant.” In that vein, I couldn’t help but notice a touch of amusement in the voices of the cable news talking heads when the story of Stormy Daniels’ lawsuit against Donald Trump first surfaced. The lilt soon faded, however, as the details of the saga started to sink in — evidence of an orchestrated cover-up, allegations of criminal wrongdoing by Trump’s lawyer, a possibility that Trump may be required to testify under oath — and pundits started taking the story a little more seriously.

    “The President and the Porn Star” is the go-to headline that the media has chosen to herald the affair and its ongoing legal fallout. I have mixed, but mostly positive, feelings about the use of that particular screamer. Reducing the story to a cute turn of phrase that sounds more like the title of a tawdry fairy tale than a serious news story lends an air of salaciousness to the saga, but I would argue that the salaciousness is key to the story’s impact.

    The “mixed” part of my feelings stems from the fact that the nature of the story emboldens the people who like to spit on porn stars. A mere glance at Twitter — search “Stormy Daniels whore” if you dare — will give you an idea of the horrible things that people are saying about her. Stormy, for her part, is handling it brilliantly. Here’s how she addressed the criticism in a recent interview with CNN:

    openquoteI’ve been in the adult business for 17 years, so to make it that long in that business you have to have a really tough skin, and so most of it rolls off my shoulders because it’s an opinion. Like, oh, you think I’m a whore, or you think I’m ugly, or I’m old, or I’m fat or my boobs are too big or too small or whatever. There’s nothing along those lines that someone can say to me that I haven’t heard. And so when someone says, “Hey, you’re a whore…” I’m like, “That is ‘successful whore’ to you!”

    Now that’s class. As a porn actor myself, I have to say I’m very proud of her. She’s giving successful whores a good name!

    Now, if this had just been a case of Donald Trump having an affair with a random woman, the world would have issued a collective shrug and said “that’s just Trump being Trump.” (Morals be damned… his base has already forgiven him for sexually assaulting women, so what’s a little affair between friends?) But it’s the catchy headlines and late night one-liners that have given this story life, and the tawdry nature of having an affair with a porn star — the horror! — is what sustains this story as front page news. Trump’s followers are degrading her, Trump-haters are cheering her, and everyone has grabbed their popcorn. Sex sells, as they say, and the adage holds true in the news media as well. But because it sells, and because this story has stayed in the news, it has led us from the comparatively simple story of “President Once Had an Affair” to revelations of potential campaign finance violations and other criminal acts in an attempt to cover it up.

    As is so often the case, the cover-up is far worse than the crime. In addition to the fact that the hush money Trump’s lawyer paid to Ms. Daniels is raising legal questions in its own right — campaign finance violations carry significant jail time — in a political sense the continuing scandal could wind up being very damaging not just for the president, for the entire GOP. Republicans impeached Bill Clinton for attempting to cover up an affair, after all; imagine the hypocrisy should they let their guy slide for doing the same. (Oh, the optics!) That’s a great way to turn off the all-important swing vote, not just in the presidential election but all the way down the ticket.

    And none of this would have come to light if not for “The President and the Porn Star.”